Christmas Bells (Various Locations, St. Marks Plac - Various Artists

FIVE HOMELESS PEOPLE

Christmas bells are ringing

Christmas bells are ringing

Christmas bells are singing

On TV - at Saks



SQUEEGEEMAN

Honest living, honest living

Honest living, honest living

Honest living, honest living



ALL FIVE HOMELESS

Can't you spare a dime or two

Here but for the grace of God go you

You'll be merry

I'll be merry

Tho merry ain't in my vocabulary

No sleighbells

No Santa Claus

No yule log

No tinsel

No holly

No hearth

No



SOLOIST

'Rudolph the red nosed reindeer'



ALL FIVE

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer

No room at the Holiday Inn -- oh no



(A few flakes of snow begin to descend.)



And it's beginning to snow



(The stage suddenly explodes with life. The scene is St. Mark's Place

on Christmas Eve -- an open-air bazaar of color, noise, and

movement.)



VENDORS

Hats, bats, shoes, booze

Mountain bikes, potpourri

Leather bags, girlie mags

Forty-fives, AZT



VENDOR #1

No one's buying

Feel like crying



ALL

No room at the Holiday Inn, oh no

And it's beginning to snow



(Lights up on one woman, who is showing off a collection of stolen

coats to COLLINS and ANGEL.)



VENDOR #2

How about a fur --

In perfect shape

Owned by an MBA from uptown

I got a tweed

Broken in by a greedy

Broker who went broke

And then broke down



COLLINS

You don't have to do this



ANGEL

Hush your mouth, it's Christmas



COLLINS

I do not deserve you, Angel



COLLINS

Give--give

All you do

Is give

Give me some way to show

How much you've touched me so



ANGEL

Wait--what's on the floor?

Let's see some more...

No--no--no...

Kiss me -- it's beginning to snow



(Lights focus on MARK and ROGER on right above.)



MARK

.. She said, "Would you light my candle?"

And she put on a pout

And she wanted you

To take her out tonight?



ROGER

Right



MARK

She got you out!



ROGER

She was more than okay

But I pushed her away

It was bad -- I got mad

And I had to get her out of my sight



MARK

Wait, wait, wait -- you said she was sweet



ROGER

Let's go eat -- I'll just get fat

It's the one vice left when you're dead meat

(MIMI has entered looking furtively for THE MAN.)

There -- that's her



MARK

Maureen?



ROGER

Mimi!



MARK

Whoa!



ROGER

I should go



MARK

Hey -- it's beginning to snow



(The POLICE OFFICERS, in riot gear, enter above.)



POLICE OFFICERS

I'm dreaming of a white, right Christmas



(POLICE OFFICERS exit.)



MIMI & JUNKIES

Follow the man -- follow the man

With his pockets full of the jam

Follow the man -- follow the man

Help me out, daddy

If you can

Got any D man?



THE MAN

I'm cool



MIMI & JUNKIES

Got any C man?



THE MAN

I'm cool



MIMI & JUNKIES

Got any X?

Any smack?

Any horse?

Any jugie boogie boy?

Any blow?



(ROGER pulls MIMI aside.)



ROGER

Hey



MIMI

Hey



ROGER

I just want to say

I'm sorry for the way --



MIMI

Forget it



ROGER

I blew up

Can I make it up to you?



MIMI

How?



ROGER

Dinner party?



MIMI

That'll do



THE MAN

Hey lover boy -- cutie pie

You steal my client -- you die



ROGER

You didn't miss me -- you won't miss her

You'll never lack for customers



JUNKIES

I'm willin'

I'm illin'

I gotta get my sickness off

Gotta run, gotta ride

Gotta gun, gotta hide -- gotta go



THE MAN

And it's beginning to snow



BENNY

(entering, talking on his cellular phone)

Wish me luck, Alison

The protest is on



COAT VENDOR

L.L Bean

Geoffrey Beene

Burburry zip out

Lining



JUNKIES

Got any C man?

Got any D man?

Got any B man?

Got any crack?

Got any X?



SQUEEGEEMAN

Honest living --



ROGER

Mark, this is Mimi --



MARK/MIMI

Hi



ROGER

She'll be dining -- (with us)



COAT VENDOR

Here's a new arrival



THE MAN

That is an ounce



VENDORS

Hats, dats, bats



COLLINS

That's my coat!



COAT VENDOR

We give discounts



MARK

I think we've met



ANGEL

Let's get a better one



COLLINS

It's a sham



MIMI

That's what he said



THE MAN

I said it's a gram!



COLLINS

But she's a thief!



ANGEL

But she brought us together



BENNY

Which investor is coming??



COLLINS

I'll take the leather



BENNY

Your father? -- Damn!



(The following is sung simultaneously.)



HOMELESS & VENDORS

Christmas bells are swinging

Christmas bells are ringing

Christmas bells are singing

In my dreams -- next year

Once you donate you can go

Celebrate in Tuckahoe

You'll feel cheery

I'll feel cheery

Tho' I don't really know that theory

No bathrobe

No steuben glass

No cappucino makers

No pearls, no diamonds

No 'Chestnuts roasting on an open fire'

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire

No room at the Holiday Inn, oh no --



POLICE OFFICERS

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

Just like the ones I used to know

Jingle bells -- prison cells

Fa la la la -- fa la la la

You have the right to remain

Silent night holy night

Fall on your knees oh night divine

You'll do some time

Fa la la la la

Fa la la la la



JUNKIES

Got any C man?

Got any D man?

Got any B man?

Got any X? -- Crack?

I'm willin' -- I'm illin'

Gotta get my sickness off

C-D help me

Follow the man -- follow the man

Follow the man

Jugie boogie -- jugie boogie

Follow the man -- follow the man

Any crack any X any jugie boogie boy

Any blow any X any jugie boogie boy

Got any D man, got any C man

Got any crack -- any X -- any jugie boogie?



COAT VENDOR

Twenty-five



ANGEL

Fifteen



COAT VENDOR

Twenty-five



ANGEL

Fifteen



COAT VENDOR

No way

Twenty-four



ANGEL

Fifteen



COAT VENDOR

Twenty-four



ANGEL

Fifteen



COAT VENDOR

Not today

Twenty-three



ANGEL

Fifteen



COAT VENDOR

Twenty-three



ANGEL

Fifteen

It's old



COAT VENDOR

Twenty-two



ANGEL

Fifteen



COAT VENDOR

Twenty-one



ANGEL

Fifteen



COAT VENDORr

Seventeen



ANGEL

Fifteen



COAT VENDOR

Fifteen



ANGEL & COAT VENDOR

Sold!



MARK & ROGER

Let's

Go

To

The lot -- Maureen's performing



MIMI

Who's Maureen?



ROGER

His ex



MARK

But I am over her



ROGER

Let's not hold hands yet



MIMI

Is that a warning?



ALL THREE

He/You/I

Just

Need(s)

To take it slow

I should tell you I should tell you

I should tell you I should tell you

I should tell you I ...



ALL

And it's beginning to

And it's beginning to

And it's beginning to ---



(Lights blackout and a blinding headlight comes through the door. As it

reaches downstage, the lights come up and reveal MAUREEN.)



MAUREEN

Joanne, which way to the stage?



ALL

Snow!!!



(Blackout.)