Guess My Religion - Willie D



Pastor:

Hey siter Bettie, sister Clara

And who is this? You new here, ain't you brother?



Willie D:

Yep



Pastor:

Well welcome to Mount Paid in Full

God sure is good, ain't he?



Willie D:

Sure is



Pastor:

Well we gonna ask you to put all you valuables in this here cup

And pass all your other metal objects to brother Swaggert

You can pick em up over there on the other side



Willie D:

What, y'all having a problem with weapons or something in Church?



Pastor:

No, brother, it's just that Pastor Gimme don't want no change in the

church



Verse 1:

Ain't that a bitch, the churchhouse getting rich

But I'm looking like dookie on a stick

As soon as I walked in, they couldn't wait

To pass that goddamned collection plate

And before I could stick my dollar in

The ushers were making rounds again

To get there I had to hitch a ride

And these motherfuckers talking about 20 percent in tithes

Telling me it's for the homeless, and those

With nowhere to go, but at night the church door is closed

Now you can come as you are

But you better be sharp as a tack, with a new car

Cause if you ain't got that cash

Watch them so-called Christians talk about your ass

I don't give a fuck about your blessings

You want to know my religion, why don't you guess it



Chorus: (2x)

Why's everybody keep playing with God?



Verse 2:

I gotta talk about these clowns behind the pulpit

Cause they full of that bullshit

It's no wonder they think they large

With these motherfucking members treating they ass like God

But they ain't God cause God loves everybody

But Baptist preachers, they backslide

When it comes to Muslims they ain't got no love

Now what you motherfuckers scared of?

That niggas will abandon your vision

And say don't give me that old time religion

I'm sick and tired of my homies getting killed

And the pastor's saying that it's God's will

Fuck the enemy, yo I don't love him

That's why I cut for the motherfucking Muslims

Put your hands on me and shit gets scary

I'm a put your ass in a cemetary

Now you'll call me Judas and say I ain't right

But fuck you bitch, they talk about Christ

I don't give a fuck about your blessings

You want to know my religion why don't you guess it



Chorus (2x)



Verse 3:

Now I know why my daddy don't go no more

The church ain't nothing but a fashion show

They going to meet and greet and peep and gaze

They ain't trying to get saved

Cause if they was they'd practice what they preached

And praise the Lord more than one day out the week

Maybe that's why a nigga ain't repenting

The churchhouse be having some fine ass women in it

And that's why the preacher can't spread the word of the Lord

Cause he be looking just as hard

It's the blind trying to lead the blind

And you wonder why niggas is so behind

I can stay my ass at the crib and watch the game

If I want to be entertained

Cause this shit done got out of hand

Motherfuckers doing the bump in the choir stand

You get mad cause I'm questioning your merit

But goddamnit if the shoe fit, wear it

I don't give a fuck about your blessings

You want to know my religion why don't you guess it



Chorus (4x)



This song was inspired by all you so-called saved motherfuckers out there

The ones thats backsliding

You sinner free motherfuckers that be

Jumping up and down in church every Sunday and shit getting the Holy Ghost

But I'm a let you motherfuckers know

If one of you hoes fall on me, I'm a knock your ass smooth out

I don't give a damn, I'm straight up with it

But some of you motherfuckers be

Going out to the club on Saturday and shit

And coming to church with a motherfucking hangover

And oh yeah, all you motherfucking parents

That's talking about Willie D is a bad influence on your kids

Fuck you hoes, raise your own motherfucking kids

I ain't no motherfucking role model

You be your motherfucking kid's role model, motherfucking loser

Yeah, just when a nigga start getting a piece of this apple pie

In America, you hoes want to start lining against rap

Smashing up tapes and shit, what you want us to do

Start by climbing through your motherfucking windows

In the middle of the night?

You better speed on before you get peed on

Now let the congregation say Amen



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