I'm sittin' in my chair watchin' the TV
It's not even on but there's plenty for me to see
I just lit some crazy ass shit
That my friend overnight-mailed to me
I'm fuckin' wasted
It's the best shit I ever tasted
I think they fuckin' laced it
'Cause I'm so damn lambasted
Oh my friend came over so I packed him a pipe
I told him he better go away with this shit but he didn't believe the hype
He sparked three bowls just to show he could take it
Two minutes later he was playing backgammon naked
He's fuckin' wasted
It's the best shit he ever tasted
He's lost in fuckin' spaced-ed
'Cause he's so wicked wicked wasted
Oh I spent the last two hours hiding under my bed
'Cause I looked in the garbage can and I think I saw my Uncle Louie's head
I'm fuckin' wasted
Well my friend blew a hit into my pet bird's face
The bird laughed hysterically and started to moon walk all over the placeHe
tripped over the toaster wire and fell on his beak
He looked at the two of us and he started to speak
I'm fuckin' wasted
It's the best shit I ever tasted
My brain's been erased-ed
Well fuckin' fried
Now I'm sittin' in the bathtub wantin' something to eat
I wanted a pizza-the bird said
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