Pretty paper
Pretty ribbons of blue.
(spoken) Man oh man,
I just love Christmas
it's just so darn neat.
I kinda wish every day was Christmas,
except Christmas eve and the Fourth of July.
We wouldn't want to miss out on the fireworks, would we?
When I was a kid, we used to get the Christmas catalog from Montgomery Wards in Chicago.
Sometimes we'd get it as early as late August.
It was the big book of wishes, hopes and desires.
My three brothers and I were allotted twenty-five bucks a piece, including tax.
So I'd make up a different Christmas list every night
from the first of September 'til the twenty-forth of December.
Matter of fact, let me present you with my Christmas credentials.
When I was three years old, at least that's what my mother told me,
I ate an entire ornament. I ate a big red one, I thought it was an apple.
They kinda freaked out and was gonna take me to the hospital
but they couldn't stop me from laughing so they just left me alone.
So I guess I still got that Christmas in me all the time, you know?
One year, I got a wooden Roly-Poly for Christmas,
you know the things you knock down and they bounce right back up.
They made 'em out of wood back then, that's how old I am.
Nowadays, they make 'em out of plastic.
My mom says
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