Whenever I see someone
Less fortunate than I
And let's face it
Who isn't less fortunate than I?
My tender heart trends to start to bleed
And when someone needs a makeover
I simply have to take over
I know, I know exactly what they need
And even in your case
Though it's the toughest I've yet to face
Don't worry!
I'm determined to succeed
Follow my lead
And yes, indeed you will be...
Popular! You're gonna be popular
I'll teach you the proper ploys
When you talk to boys
Little ways to flirt and flounce
Ooh! I'll show you what shoes to wear
How to fix your hair
Everything that really counts to be
Popular! I'll help you be popular
You'll hang with the right cohorts
You'll be good at sports
Know the slang you've got to know
So let's start
'Cause you've got an awfully long way to go.
Don't be offended by my frank analysis
Think of it as personality dialysis
Now that I've chosen to become a pal
A sister and advisor
There's nobody wiser
Not when it comes to popular
I know about popular
And with an assist from me
To be who you'll be
Instead of dreary who you were
Well, are
There's nothing that can stop you
From becoming populer... lar
La la la la
We're gonna make you popular
When I see depressing creatures
With unprepossessing features
I remind them on their own behalf
To think of
Celebrated heads of state
Or 'specially great communicators
Did they have brains or knowledge
Don't make me laugh!
They were popular!
Please, it's all about popular
It's not about aptitude
It's the way you're viewed
So it's very shrewd to be
Very, very popular like me
And though you protest
Your disinterest
I know clandestinely
You're gonna grin and bear it
Your newfound popularity
La la la la
You'll be popular!
Just not quite as popular as me!
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