Written by Roger Miller
(As performed by George Jones)
(Chorus)
Oh the ways of the world, and the wants of a woman
If I figured them all out 'twould take many years
I once had a sweetheart, the fairest of maidens
She outshined all others that I'd known by far
I had a friend, a big fella, named big Harlan Taylor
Harlan had a rubber-tired, new shiny car
(Repeat chorus)
By the wants of a woman she fell for big Harlan
I tried, but in vain, for to take my own life
Suddenly I had lost all my will to keep livin'
She lost her desire to become my young wife
(Repeat chorus)
I wanted revenge and waylaid for big Harlan
Then I started wondrin' what good would it do
If a rubber-tired, new shiny car's her ambition
Then she can just have it and big Harlan, too
(Repeat chorus)
If I figured them all out it would take many years
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