I Won't Say That I'm Okay - Front Porch Step




I won't hold my tongue

I'm not okay without you here

I guess what's done is done

I just feel so exposed without you near



And I won't say that I'm okay

'cause you taught me not to lie

so know that I'll miss you everyday



You always taught me to be good

and always do my best to be selfless

but I know that God is holding you

and I am so damn jealous

'cause I miss your arms around me

and the way you make me laugh

and now I'm stuck inside this prison

that says you're never coming back.



So I'm sitting in my room

as I try to write this song.

I'm so sorry that it's not good enough,

It's just that everything seems wrong.

And I keep bursting into tears

because the pain won't go away

because the Father took my best friend

and said she cannot come out to play

anymore.



I won't hold my tongue

I'm not okay without you here

I won't hold my tongue

I'm not okay without you here

I won't hold my tongue

I'm not okay without you here

I guess what's done is done

but I just feel so exposed without you near.



And I won't say that I'm okay

'cause you taught me not to lie

so know I'll miss you everyday



You always taught me to be good

and always do my best to be selfless

but I know that God is holding you

and I am so damn jealous

'cause I miss your arms around me

and the way you make me laugh

and now I'm stuck inside this prison

that says you're never coming back.



And now I'm sitting in my room

as I try to write this song.

I'm so sorry that it's not good enough,

It's just that everything seems wrong.

But I will try my best to be good

So I can pave my way

straight through the pearly gates

into your arms so we can play

once more.



Grandma, uh, I love God with all my heart and the only

reason that is instated in my life is because of you. And I

really don't understand the god that you introduced me to

would take you away so fast when you were the only person

who understood a thing I ever said. And I really don't know

how to deal with this anymore. And, I'm just really not okay

with this and I miss you and I understand you're in heaven

but I wanna be selfish. I don't want you to be in heaven; I

want you to be back down here. I don't want you to be there.

I want you to be here. What am I supposed to do now? That's

all I'm asking.



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