The Football Song - First Offence



Verse 1

We got up early to get to the match

We smash and trash the first train that we catch

We seen a pub and we knocked a few back

We did the landlord right there on the mat

All twelve of us well we seen this lad

We were really pleased but he wasn't too glad

I walked right to him said "You could use a shave"

And introduced him to my Wilkinson blade

I took a grip had to suck in real hard

Followed through with our firm's calling card

Then we did a runner cos he had some mates

And three against twelve doesn't sound too great

Into the toilet, marker pens at ready

The crippled attendant tried to come on really heavy

That was too bad, another guy got hurt

But never mind, it's all in a day's work

Chorus

Don't care if we lose, don't care if we win

Don't care if we sink, don't care if we swim

Don't care if we lose, don't care if we win

Cos YOU'RE GONNA GET YOUR FUCKIN' HEAD KICKED IN!

Break

(You're gonna get your fuckin' head kicked in)

(You're gonna get your fuckin' head kicked in)

(Yeah, twat him. Kick his fuckin' head in! Scouse bastard)

Repeat chorus

Verse 2

1-0, into the first five minutes

If he looks at me again I'll kill 'im

I don't think he'd be smilin' like that

With his teeth knocked out with a baseball bat

It's a pity I couldn't smuggle one in

But the security's good these days

It's a good job they didn't check me back pocket

Cos they'd've found my blade

1-0, what the hells up with 'em?

They should hammer these Krauts

Kick 'em in the bollocks and have done with

I ain't doin' for nowt

I came to watch a soccer match

Not fairies dancin'

I think I'll just liven things up

And give someone's face a good stampin'

Repeat chorus



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