I was impressed like everyone
When man began to fly
Out of Earthly regions to
Planets in the sky
With total media coverage
We watched the heroes land
As ceremoniously they disturbed the cosmic sand
In awe with admiration we
Listened to the talk
Such pride felt they, such joy
To be upon the moon to walk
My romantic vision shattered when it was explained to me
Spacemen wear old diapers in which they shit and pee
* Oh! The intergalactic laxative
Will get you from here to there
Believe you and believe me! Without a worry or care
If shitting is your problem when you're out there in the stars
The intergalactic laxative
Will get you from here to Mars
They don't partake like you and I
Of beefy burger mush
Their food is specially prepared
To dissolve into slush
Absorbed by multi-fibres in
The super diaper suit
Otherwise the slush would trickle
Down inside the boot
* CHORUS
You may well ask now what becomes
Of liquid they consume
A pipe is led from penis to head to
A unit in the room
The water is recirculated, filtered
For re-use
In case some anti-gravity pee
Gets on the loose
* CHORUS
Wherever man has conquered on the
Quest for frontiers new
I'm glad he's always had to do
The no. one and two
It makes it all so ordinary
Just like you and me
To know the greatest heroes
They had to shit and pee
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