(Cledus T. JuddDeana CarterRhonda Hart)
A Mason jar full of shine; a CD of LeAnn Rimes.
Is what I bought for our anniversary tonight.
Now here I stand, with my Petunias in hand.
And you've got a headache again.
I hit a yard sale, cut my toenails,
Trimmed my nose hairs just right.
I thought you'd be impressed, by my new huntin' vest,
But there's no chance tonight.
It ain't the first time this year; it'll be TV and beer.
I 'bout forgot what it's like to be kissed.
As I sleep on the floor, while she sniffles and snores.
Did I shave my back for this?
Ow, this things duller than a dead blade butter knife.
Now I bet she'll regret the fact that she didn't let,
Me take her to that motel with a pool.
You know it's so hard to find free HBO and Showtime.
And them vibratin' beds sure are cool.
I souped up the RV, fired up my flowbe,
Trimmed my toupee just right.
Tried self-tanning cream, it turned my skin green,
Er, you know the directions said that it might.
Well it's a mystery to me, why she don't like Cledus T.
Most find me hard to resist.
I'm wearin' my brand new drawers, and wonderin' what the heck for!
Did I shave my back for this?
Deanna, did I shave my back for this?
Ooh ooh ooh.
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