Girls, I know you will understand this,
and feel the entrensic and incredible emotion
You have just pulled over your head
the worn and warm sweater belonging to a boy
Now you haven't had a passionate kissing session or anything
but you got to go on a camping trip with him
and 8 other people from school,
and you practically slept together
your sleeping bag right next to his
and you woke in the night to watch him as he slept,
but you couldn't see anything cuz it was dark
so you just laid there and listened to his breathing
and wondered if your heart might burst
The sweater has that slightly goat-like smell
which all teenage boys posess
and that smell will lovingly transfer
to all your other clothes
If you get to keep it for a few days
you can sleep with it
but don't let your mom see
because she'll say what is that filthy thing
and who does it belong to besides the trash man
So you have to keep it under the covers with you
you can kind of lie it beside you
or wrap it around your waist
or touch it on your legs
or whatever that's your business
Now if the sweater has like reindeer on it
or is a funny color like yellow
I'm sorry you can't get away with a sweater like that
Look for brown, or gray, or blue
anything other than that
and you know you're dealing with someone who's different
and different is not what you're looking for
You're looking for those teenage, Alpine ski chizzled features
and that sort of blank look
that passes for deep thought
or at least the notion that someone's home
You're looking for the boy of your dreams
who is the same boy in the dreams in all of your friends
Now the sweater isn't going to fit you of course
you have to kind of roll up the sleeves
in a jaunty way that says
this is the sweater belonging to a boy
and the boy is a genuine
hunk-a-hunk of burnin' love
and this is not just some hand-me-down
from your brother or your father
Monday, wear the sweater to school
Be calm, look cute
Don't tell the dream you had about
the place the two of you would
share when you get older
just be yourself
the best, cutest, quietest version of yourself
Definitely wear lip gloss
He looks at you, and he looks away
and then he walks away
and the smell of the sweater
hits you again suddenly like ape-scent gloriola
and you get a note passed
to you by a girl in history
that says he needs his sweater back
he forgot that you put it on
in the tent on Saturday
and he's been looking for it
and you don't have to die of humiliation you know
you are a strong person
and this is a learning experience
you can still hold your head up high
as you run from the classroom
tearing the stinking sweater from your body
you look at that sweater,
carefully, and you realize that love made
you temporarily blind,
you got a secret now, honey
and though you would never
sink as low as him
you could blab it all over the school
if you wanted
The label in that sweater
said 100% acrylic
|