The Rye And The Kaiser - Weird Al Yankovic



Fat and weak, what a disgrace.

Guess the champ got too lazy.

Ain't gonna fly now, he's just takin' up space.

Sold his gloves, threw his eggs down the drain.



But he's no bum, he works down the street

He bought the neighborhood deli.

Back on his feet, now he's choppin' up meat.

Come inside, maybe you'll hear him say,



Try the rye or the kaiser,

They're on special tonight.

If you want, you can have an appetizer

You might like our silami and the liver's alright

And they really go well with the rye or the kaiser



Never eats while on the job,

He heard it's good to stay hungry

But he makes a pretty mean shishkabob

Have a taste, they were made fresh today



Try the rye or the kaiser

Or the wheat or the white

Maybe I can suggest an appetizer

Stay away from the tuna, it smells funny tonight

But you just can't go wrong with the rye or the kaiser



So today, his deli comes first

Steady dreams of his past days of glory

Goes to the back and beats on the liverwurst

All the while you can still hear him say,



It's the rye or the kaiser

It's the thrill of one bite

Let me please be your catering advisor.

If you want substitutions,

I won't put up a fight.

You can have your roast beef on the rye or the kaiser.



The rye or the kaiser….. (repeat)



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