Junk Food Junkie
Larry Groce
Written by Larry Groce
Released by Warner Bros. Records in 1976; playing time, 3:03
Was Groce's only hit, making it as high as #9 on the _Billboard_ Hot 100
You know I love that organic cooking
I always ask for more
And they call me Mr. Natural
On down to the health food store
I only eat good sea salt
White sugar don't touch my lips
And my friends is always
Begging me to take them
On macrobiotic trips
Yes, they are
Oh, but at night I stake out my strongbox
That I keep under lock and key
And I take it off to my closet
Where nobody else can see
I open that door so slowly
Take a peek up north and south
Then I pull out a Hostess Twinkie
And I pop it in my mouth
Yeah, in the daytime I'm Mr. Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
But at night I'm a junk food junkie
Good lord have pity on me
Well, at lunchtime
You can always find me
At the Whole Earth Vitamin Bar
Just sucking on my plain white yogurt
From my hand thrown pottery jar
And sippin' a little hand pressed cider
With a carrot stick for dessert
And wiping my face
In a natural way
On the sleeve of my peasant shirt
Oh yeah
Ah, but when that clock strikes midnight
And I'm all by myself
I work that combination
On my secret hideaway shelf
And I pull out some Fritos corn chips
Dr. Pepper and an Ole Moon Pie
Then I sit back in glorious expectation
Of a genuine junk food high
Oh yeah, in the daytime I'm Mr. Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
But at night I'm a junk food junkie
Good lord have pity on me
My friends down at the commune
They think I'm pretty neat
Oh, I don't know nothing about arts and crafts
But I give 'em all something to eat
I'm a friend to old Euell Gibbons
And I only eat homegrown spice
I got a John Keats autographed Grecian urn
Filled up with my brown rice
Yes, I do
Oh, but folks lately I have been spotted
With a Big Mac on my breath
Stumbling into a Colonel Sanders
With a face as white as death
I'm afraid someday they'll find me
Just stretched out on my bed
With a handful of Pringles Potato Chips
And a Ding Dong by my head
In the daytime I'm Mr. Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
But at night I'm a junk food junkie
Good lord have pity on me
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From _The Wacky Top 40_ by Bruce Nash and Allan Zullo (Holbrook, Mass. :
Bob Adams Publishers, 1993)
This silly song about addiction to such goodies as corn chips, moon
pies, and Twinkies was written and performed by a self-confessed junk
food junkie.
"That's the way I always ate when I was a kid," admitted Larry Groce.
"No matter how hard my mother tried, I ended up eating a peanut butter
sandwich and Fritos and drinking Dr. Pepper. That was pretty much the
staple."
Groce, who sang folk songs at coffeehouses, was eating junk food on the
road when he conjured up the song in the mid 1970s. "I wrote it in my
Volkswagen bus as I drove from West Virginia to Boston to do a job," he
recalled. "I knew I wanted to write a song about junk food. So I got the
idea to use the character of a junk food junkie who was kind of a Jekyll
and Hyde. The words came fairly quickly. I actually stopped on the side of
the road, took out the guitar, and made a tune for it so that by the time
I got to Boston, it was pretty well written."
Groce sang the song in his act on the coffeehouse circuit and received
a strong positive reaction. "I thought of 'Junk Food Junkie' more as a
satire than a novelty song. I performed it to poke fun at both the junk
food culture and the health food culture. Everybody identified with it."
His best reception came from the audience at a New York coffeehouse
called The Focus, where he played regularly. "It turned into a health
food restaurant. I saw the irony of going from the junk food culture of
my childhood to the hip New York health consciousness where brown rice
was the staple."
His manager, Randy Nauert, tried to secure a record deal. But when
there were no takers, Nauert decided to put it out himself on his own
label, Peaceable Records. He sent several hundred copies to radio
stations around the country. "The song sold itself," said Groce. "Disc
jockeys had so much fun with it that it took on a life of its own."
Dr. Demento featured it on his syndicated radio show, and in a weekly
phone-in contest on Denver's KTLK, "Junk Food Junkie" soundly trounced
all comers. The song finally caught the attention of Warner Brothers,
who cut a deal with Groce and re-released it on their label. Only then
did it become a national hit.
NOTEWORTHY NOTES
o The song was recorded live at McCabe's--a Los Angeles guitar shop that
still stages acoustic concerts right in the store.
o Groce didn't even realize that his song was being recorded for a single.
"I wasn't aware they were recording it because at the time I hadn't
planned on releasing it as a single," he said.
o The audience's applause was sweetened for the record, "but not too
much," Groce said.
o Groce's was the first song in history with lyrics that mentioned both
19th century poet John Keats and Kentucky Fried Chicken founder Colonel
Sanders.
o Michael Jackson once sand "Junk Food Junkie" on the Jackson Five's
network TV show.
PLATTER PATTER
Warner Borhters Records feared there would be costly backlash from the
junk food companies who were mentioned by name in the song.
"There was a fear," said Groce. "I was in the publicity department at
Warner Brothers and they were worried because they heard that local
outlets of McDonald's and Kentucky Fried Chicken had put some heat on the
local stations to drop the song from their playlists.,
"Although there were a few local franchises who were upset with the
song and thought it was an insult, the home offices understood that every
time their name was mentioned good things happen."
After the song became a hit, Groce was a guest on a radio show along
with the creator of Twinkies, who believed any kind of publicity was good
publicity. "He said that every time Archie Bunker mentioned Twinkies on
'All In The Family'--whether he was making fun of them or not--sales went
up," said Groce.
"We made a call to the P.R. office of Dr. Pepper and the guy there said
they were in the company of some other good brand names [mentioned in the
song] and they were happy about it."
Actually Groce was a little disappointed that more companies weren't
angry. "I was hoping someone would give us grief because that would have
created a David and Goliath scenario that could have helped the sales of
the record. But I think most of the companies were smart enough to
realize that poking fun at their product was in good fun.
"The Anti-Junk Food Council thought it was great because the song
pointed out the dangers of junk food. I know a lot of people think junk
food isn't nutritious--but I don't know anyone who doesn't agree that it
tastes good."
FOLLOW UPS AND DOWNS
None of Groce's follow-up songs made it on the charts.
Among them were: "The Bumper Sticker Song," "We Been Malled," and "Turn
on the TV."
ROCK ON
Larry Groce, who lives in a 120-yeard-old farmhouse in West Virginia,
has recorded seven albums of his own folk songs and ballads as well as
hymns. He's also made nine albums of children's songs for Walt Disney
Records, five of which have gone gold and three platinum.
In 1986 he began hosting "Mountain Stage," a national radio show which
features top recording artists from all styles of music. In 1991 Groce
starred in a low-budget made-for-video feature called _Paradise Park_.
"It's a humorous story of a trailer park in West Virginia," said Groce.
"I play a teacher who lives there and everyone is an oddball but me
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