Last Of The Big Game Hunters - Barstool Prophets



I have heard dandelions

Roaring out in my backyard.

A direct approach is dangerous

Until you're sure they've dropped their guard.

You'd be better off to wait

Until the brutes go for the bait

And when they can't anticipate

Is when you pounce and break their necks.



Sure, some call me insane...

But danger is my middle name.



I have spied tiger-spiders

On the prowl along my fence.

But the speed at which they travel

Makes a chase much too intense.

So you set your traps with care,

Scattering them here and there,

Hoping for a leg to snare

(And with eight, the odds are in your favour.)



Watch out they can maim

Even with a leg left lame.

Sure, some call me insane...

But danger is my middle name.



There is one great adversary

That consumes my thoughts foremost.

You see, a dragonfly breathes fire,

So its not safe to get too close.

But its hard to be aware

Of them appearing from nowhere

As they swoop down through the air.

I might just need a rocket-launcher.



Not even scalding flame

Could make me shake my aim.

Sure, some call me insane...

But danger is my middle name



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